Jitters

No matter how prepared I am or how many times I check and recheck that I have everything I need for the first days, I can not help but feel nervous. I know everybody gets the back to school jitters in some shape or form. The way that I experience it literally makes me feel like a whole different person for days. I hate the way it makes me feel and it’s very similar to the way I feel when I get anxious about any thing else in general about life. It gets so bad that I will even wake up in the morning before my first day of each clinical or lecture for the first week and my heart is already racing and I feel out of breath. I can’t pinpoint an exact reason for why I get so nervous. It’s not like anything happened to me growing up during my first weeks of school over the years to traumatize me. It’s one of those things that feels completely out of my control, which drives me even crazier. Almost as if I’m afraid that I will make a mistake equivalent to when I scored the first basket during a sixth grade summer basketball league game…for the other team :{ I constantly fear that my alarm won’t wake me up, that I will drive to the wrong hospital site, that I will come to class or clinical with all the wrong things, that I will completely forget how to do a simple drug calculation, that I will just do anything that will make me look like a failure. I am eventually able to talk myself down from all these thoughts and then I get to the point where I feel so silly for ever thinking any of this. Everybody makes mistakes so I have to be able to accept that I can make mistakes as well-no one is anywhere near perfect (including me and you!) and I know that. As long as I know that I have done everything I can to prepare for whatever is ahead of me, I need to feel content that I have done the best that I can and that I am also able to work with any unknowns. We can al do this! One thing I’ve heard over and over again during my nursing program is how important it is to be flexible and be able to adapt to different situations. Especially in nursing, we can’t always know what to expect next so it is important to be on our toes at all times. Working as a nurse assistant has reinforced this idea each day I step into the hospital. No two days have ever been the same. Just remember that you can accept any challenge that comes your way even if you don’t feel totally ready, there is always somebody nearby to lend a helping hand or some helpful advice. XO

Author: melissaudrey

Nurse. Romans 8:31. Fun seeker.

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