im not sorry.

In my opinion, “sorry” is one of those words that is often used unnecessarily. I am guilty of doing this more often than I would like. I find myself constantly apologizing for some of my most prominent personality traits or apologizing for things that are completely out of my control. I understand that saying “I’m sorry” can convey different meanings and show that you understand that the other person may have been hurt or offended by something that you did, but I don’t feel like this is how it is always used. Sometimes when I meet new people, I will preface many of the things that I do with this phrase and it has slowly started to irritate me.

“I’m sorry, I just really love my job..”

“I’m sorry my voice is a bit raspy because I tend to talk a lot…”

“I’m sorry, I know I may have a lot of energy…”

“I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling up for it today…”

The thing is though, I’m really not sorry for these things. I absolutely love my job and feel so blessed to have found a career path that fulfills me in more ways than I could ever imagine. It makes me extremely happy when people express interest in hearing about my job, why I have chosen my particular path to get to where I am today, and my future plans. I understand that not everyone wants to hear all of this so I try my best to be aware and only share what I feel wants to be heard.

I tend to talk a lot because I always have so many things on my mind and love to share how I feel about different topics and current events, but I am fully aware that this can be too much for people. I also love hearing other people’s perspectives and I try my best to make sure to actively listen, especially considering that they most likely just listened to me blabber on about whatever was on my mind.

I have always had an excessive amount of energy. I don’t need much sleep even when I have a full, busy day ahead of me. Sitting still for long periods of time can drive me crazy (one of the many reasons that I knew a “desk job” would never work for me). I know how to channel my energy in productive areas of my life in order to not overwhelm others and prevent myself from feeling anxious when I know that I will have to sit still for a four hour class.

Along with having a majority of my days filled with more than enough energy, I also have my days where I just feel both emotionally and physically wiped out. Everybody has these days, so why should I feel that I need to apologize?

Over-apologizing for things that we aren’t even actually sorry for, takes away from the whole point of the word. I hate saying sorry for my own personality because I am really not sorry. If you do not like me, that is okay. I would rather save “sorry” for times that I am actually sorry for something that I did or for how someone may be feeling due to unwanted circumstances.

xo

 

 

Author: melissaudrey

Nurse. Romans 8:31. Fun seeker.

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